I started a post the other day and when I had to leave my computer I saved the draft. Today, when I finally had a quiet moment (everyone still sleeping, Hooray for quiet moments!!!) I came back to finish up but found it did not save and I am back to square one. Ah well must be I needed to start over again with a new fresh thought.
Today I count down how long before we are in our son’s birth country and find that it is exactly two weeks from tomorrow that we board our flight. Wow in just over two weeks we will have the express joy of seeing the face of the little boy we have prayed for, longed for, cried for. We will see his eyes, hear his voice, greet him with joy and thankful tears, and, should he allow, embrace him with great love. Our son, another life that matters, and he will know and see love and we are so thankful that we are able to give him that love.
My emotions are many at this moment and they jump from one moment to the next. I am fearful. We are entering a country we have never before been to, a culture we do not know, and an adoption experience we have not yet had. We go to meet a child that we are in love with, whom we long to meet and make part of our family, a child who has not, for months, and even years known our faces and anticipated our day of meeting or becoming part of our family , or known that a huge change is about to happen in his life, as we have known? Will he be as excited as we are. Will his heart overflow with amazing love? Will he even be glad to see us or even want us? We will meet him, see him, hold him, laugh with him, and then when the week is done we will board a plane and leave him to return without him while further paperwork is done so that we can return and finish up the process. Can my heart hold the pain of boarding that flight and leaving him, knowing we are returning, yet still leaving him for that time? Will the judge and orphanage director say yes? Will they like us and see us as we long to be seen, as the parents of our sweet boy and will they give us permission to become his parents. Will we have all the money we need to finish up this process. All kinds of things to worry over when I stop long enough to think.
Then again I am filled with overwhelming joy. Look what God has done!!!!! We have passed through one hurdle after another in this process and seen God move in such miraculous ways. We have met the hurdles, passed through them and we are at this point, why should we feel anything else but inexpressible joy. Look what the Lord has done. This thought overwhelms me and fills me with such gratitude and thanksgiving. I am once again in awe of what God does for one, another life that matters! Doesn’t it amaze you too! God has withheld nothing for this child! Nothing to bring this child to his forever family! This act of His reminds me again of what He does for one. For one life, for one child, for me and for you because of inexpressible love! God’s love!!! And again I am reminded of just how much one life matters. One life, another life that matters to the God of the Universe, the God of Creation!
And I am bubbling over with thanksgiving (and a bit of awe) when I realize that God chose us to be the vessel of His love to this child that matters so much to God that He has moved heaven and earth to bring him into this family. God Himself, loves! He loves Zebadiah, he loves each of my children, He loves Ernie, He loves me, He loves and He chose us for one another that He might reveal that love! Amazing, astounding, incredible, overwhelming, inexpressible joy! A thankful heart indeed and with every good reason!
And so today I prepare. I prepare for the moments ahead, for a trip I have never before had, to a child I have never before met, in a nation and culture I have never before been, with experiences I have never before had. And I take the hand of the all knowing, all sufficient, all loving Father who has and is making the way and who is, in all things and at all times, worthy to be trusted and worthy to be praised. I give thanks and I take His hand and trust Him to lead the way and to accomplish His will. Glory to God in the Highest, who is and was and is to come, and who sees my life, your life and Zebadiah’s life as yet another life that matters to Him for the glory of His name and for the revealing of His grace and love and for deep and wonderful fellowship with Him. Oh what a God we serve, oh what a Father who has chosen to love and embrace and make a way!!!!!!!!
And as I rejoice I am also filled with thankfulness for you because you saw Zebadiah as another life that mattered and you poured out of your heart love and you demonstrated that love in your actions. You prayed, you cried, you believed and you gave. You became God’s hands extended to Zebadiah and to us in a very real and tangible way. Thank you! Thank you again and again! I know that you, too, are excited and thankful as you see God’s love in action! I know you rejoice with us! I know you continue to love and give and pray for yet another life that matters. Thank you! Again and again, Thank you!!!!!!
We will take lots of pictures and post them as often as possible. Please do continue to keep us, as well as Zebadiah, and our other children, in prayer as we make the final steps of our journey to Zebadiah. Below is our adoption link. Again Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.theshepherdscrook.org/#!2601-Zebadiah/c1zg4/i4qdgz01128
lifeforzebadiah 